You Can Stick Your Vuvuzela Up Your ....
Will the dreaded vuvuzela be banned at the DW Stadium this coming season? Well I for one sincerely hope so; they are an accident waiting to happen.
For those who don`t know what they are, where have you been for the past six weeks, the vuvuzela is a musical horn that produces a note in b flat, it sounds something crossed between a bee`s drone and a dentists drill, one of the most irritating sounds that I have heard, they are native to South Africa and been blown continuously throughout the recent world cup finals making my skin crawl and teeth itch.
Now these annoying instruments look set to find their way into our football grounds for the coming season and the thought of one being blown in my vicinity at a Latics match is driving me to despair. I may be coming across like a grumpy old man but I`d be very tempted to take the horn and stick it up the blowers arse in all truthfulness and I wish to avoid a situation that just might see me banned from the DW Stadium.
Some Premier League clubs have already taken action with several saying that the dreaded horns will not be allowed into their grounds this coming season, a variety of reasons are quoted:
Spurs will ban them from White Hart Lane saying - 'We are concerned that the presence of the instruments within the stadium pose unnecessary risks and could impact on the ability of all supporters to hear any emergency safety announcements.
'We are very proud of the fantastic atmosphere that our supporters produce organically at White Hart Lane and we are all very much looking forward to this continuing into the forthcoming season.'
Birmingham wont allow fans to bring them into St. Andrews because they took advice from their own supporters, a statement from the Blues reads - 'An overwhelming majority of Blues supporters said they didn't want vuvuzelas to be allowed at St Andrews'
Whilst both West Ham and Everton are concerned that they could be used as weapons and give that as one reason why they wont be allowed in Upton Park and Goodison Park respectively
West Ham club statement said: 'Under the current health and safety regulations at the stadium, which already disallows musical bands, we would not allow them (vuvuzelas) into the stadium as they could be considered a weapon and could also be considered to be an annoyance to others.
'The health and safety regulation that all of this comes under is already in place.
'The club wish at all times to ensure that all supporters are allowed to enjoy the game they are watching and prides itself on the passionate, loud and robust support from our fans at all matches at Upton Park.'
Whilst the Everton statement read: 'It isn't a case of us being killjoys it is simply a measure which is designed to safeguard our reputation with the game's governing bodies. We have, in the past, had problems with people throwing objects onto the pitch and the Football Association has made it perfectly clear that we do face the possibility of sanctions should there be any repeat offence.
'In the wake of the World Cup in South Africa we have received many emails from our supporters asking that we ban vuvuzelas on the grounds that they are simply irritating - but none urging us to permit their use at first-team fixtures."
I contacted the Latics this morning and asked what their stance is or is going to be on vuvuzelas; they say that a decision has not yet been made.
Let us sing, chant, stamp our feet, clap our hands and bang our drums but please when it comes to blowing that dreaded horn keep that well out of my ear shot
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