Vital Football

Latest Wigan Atletic News

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 4

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 4


Have you been wondering what could have possibly been going on this week behind the scenes at Latics? Well wonder no more, as we take a peek inside Roberto`s diary and read about the week`s events:

Monday: The lads are teasing Jordi again. The coaching staff have told him that he needs to get stronger to adapt to the Premier League, and have put together a fitness plan for him. Unfortunately, Victor walked in on him doing some after-hours training, dressed in very short shorts and a luminous headband, dancing about the gym to 'Physical` by Olivia Newton-John. This morning the whole squad came into training sporting leg warmers and sweatbands, shouting 'Let`s get physical!` every time Jordi walked past. Jordi was in floods of tears, he had to go home with Graham to calm him down.

Tuesday: We`re getting to the end of our tether with Daniel de Ridder`s behaviour. Today he`s convinced himself that he`s going to be reincarnated, and is burning all of his belongings. All of his clothes, his hair products, his Rick Astley CD collection, everything. Apparently he`s got his sights set on coming back as a pair of straighteners, so he can get closer to fabulous hair. He`ll be disappointed when he wakes up tomorrow and is still training with the reserves.

Wednesday: There has been a lot of talk today about why Young James didn`t travel to play for the Republic of Ireland tonight. Well let me set it straight - it was all the airline`s fault. The Irish FA had booked him on a flight from Liverpool to Dublin, but when we dropped Young James at the airport he refused to get on the plane. Apparently they had refused to show Finding Nemo on the big screen on the plane, due to the flight only being short haul. Young James threw a massive strop and started screaming, we had no choice but to bring him home. I hope Mr Trapattoni understands.

Thursday: We`ve lost Gary Caldwell. Him, Steven and Old James were in a minibus together coming back from Scotland`s game last night but only two of them have shown up for training this morning. I specifically told the driver to watch him when they stopped at petrol stations for a toilet break, but he seems to have slipped away just before they hit Carlisle. After hours of retracing steps and frantic phone calls to the police, we finally found him lied in a park in Lincoln, staggering around. He`d drank that much Stella that he thought his protective mask had transformed him into Jim Carrey`s The Mask. He kept yelling 'SSSSSSMOKIN`` at passers-by, before he collapsed asleep and we could take him home.

Friday: There was a package waiting at the Christopher Park for Charles this morning. It was quite bulky, but there was no sign of a name or a card telling us who it was from. Inside the package was a bus timetable for the Wearside area, and an OS map of the North East. Charles seemed quite happy with it, saying that it would come in handy during the summer. I wonder who it could be from?

Sheikh_Mahand

If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three







Join The Vital Debate



Bookmark and Share












Latics and Proud

Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site





Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Sheikh_Mahand
Date:Friday February 11 2011
Time: 9:42AM

Comments

0
Excellent stuff, I'll have physical in my head all day now though!!!
worbo
11/02/2011 09:48:00
0
Quality! Good stuff Sheikh.
Bryan plumb
11/02/2011 10:01:00
0
I think De Ridder might become a cult hero at this rate!
J_Mo
11/02/2011 11:43:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

Transfer watch: Former Latics Edition

All of the players in this round-up have been employed by Wigan Athletic at some point in their career.

Latics matches to be streamed live for overseas fans

The EFL have announced that non-UK Latics fans will be able to watch live Wigan Athletic matches this season via their new iFollow online streaming service.

FA End Betting Sponsorship

Late yesterday afternoon, the Football Association announced the result of its three month review of their relationship with gambling companies and that association now comes to an end.

Nosey Barstool's 'alternative' replacements for Matty Gilks

So Big Matty Gilks has departed for Scunthorpe. Who, or indeed what, should succeed him?

Archived Vital Latics Articles

Vital Latics articles from

Site Journalists

Liam Sephton
Editor email
Profile
Dan Farrimond
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Are you getting a season ticket for next season?
Suggested By: Nosey Barstool
Yes54%
No46%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites
Vital Football Comment
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Write for Vital Football

Recent Wigan Athletic Results (view all)

Wigan Athletic Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Get a Grip!103
2.Martinez198661
3.Whittleblue50
4.bickymon40
5.ZAKKY40
6.truelatic4eva33
7.Yon Mon33
8.jeffs right30
9.The_Pon30
10.C_Latic29
The Vital Football Members League