Vital Football

Latest Wigan Atletic News

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 7

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 7


It`s been a interesting week at Wigan, let`s see what has been happening behind the scenes in Roberto`s Secret Diary. Over to you Roberto:

Monday: Young James is still recovering from being hit by Wayne Rooney on Saturday. He has a huge bruise on his head, Old James isn`t helping by flicking his ear every few minutes. He`ll be getting flashbacks for weeks. Anyway, Graeme took him into the Disney shop to get him something to reward him for being so brave. That didn`t end well, Young James ended up running out of the shop screaming and in floods of tears thanks to the huge display of Shrek toys. We won`t be going there again.

Tuesday: Antolin is continuing his attempts to persuade the lads he is royalty. His latest act was to proclaim the training pitch at Christopher Park as his kingdom. We suspect he may have done this for Jordi, who has become his follower to get a bit of protection from Gary and Steven. He seemed pretty happy when Antolin let him take free-kicks all afternoon anyway.

Wednesday: Franco is in trouble with the RSPCA. We had him doing some practice in front of goal to try and help him get his first goal for the club. Unfortunately his accuracy was a little off today, and several crows perched on top of some of the cars in the car park were knocked over. And a badger. And three passers-by. We could really do with someone to help our strikers with their shooting, I wonder what Ashley Cole is doing this week?

Thursday: The lads have been learning some Shakespeare to perform today as a team bonding exercise. Ronnie has nominated himself to play the lead role in Macbeth, and is taking the role very seriously. He was brilliant, very moody and emotional. As his character died I`m sure I saw a tear rolling down Jordi`s face. Afterwards, I told Ronnie that I was happy with the intensity, we could take the positives from this and grow as thespians.

Friday: We`re a little bit worried about Gary and Steven. After Kolo Toure tested positive for a banned substance in a diet supplement, we think they might be next. Their AA group thinks they`ve been clean and sober for a week now, but we know they`ve been drinking. How else can you explain the sixteen cans of Tennent`s we found in the footwell of Steven`s car? They must have been getting someone else to do the urine tests for them, my money`s on Daniel de Ridder. Whatever he calls his new religion prohibits alcohol, and it would also explain why the Tennent`s cans were held together by goat`s lungs.

Sheikh_Mahand


If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six



Join The Vital Debate



Bookmark and Share












Latics and Proud

Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site



Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Sheikh_Mahand
Date:Friday March 4 2011
Time: 11:13AM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Excellent stuff once again Sheikh
worbo
04/03/2011 11:17:00
0
Funny as I loved Monday and Thursday
wigginer
04/03/2011 13:03:00
0
Jordi Gomez needs to practice his free-kicks. I watched him before the united game and he took about 30 free-kicks at an open net and hit the post twice and put the rest wide or over the bar. Good effort.
nooney
04/03/2011 13:20:00
0
when i first saw these secret diaries i just passed them off as interviews or something. after finally getting round to read them today i must say i haven't laughed this much in a long time. just what is needed to unwind on a friday. good job Sheikh.
fingoose
04/03/2011 18:16:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

Will Grigg Off To France With Northern Ireland

Will Grigg has been named in the Northern Ireland 23 man squad that will take part in the Euro 2016 tournament in France

Will Grigg Scores His First International Goal

Wigan Athletic striker Will Grigg scored his first international goal for Northern Ireland in last night's Euro 2016 warm up game at Windsor Park in Belfast

Wigan Athletic 2016/17 Home Kit

Wigan Athletic have revealed their new home kit for the 2016/17 Championship season

No More Quarter Final Replays For Wigan

Should Wigan Athletic progress through to an FA Cup quarter final from the 2016/17 season onwards, the game will no longer be subject to a replay.

Archived Vital Latics Articles

Vital Latics articles from

Site Journalists

Barry Worthington
Editor email
Profile
Dan Farrimond (JWAW)
no email
Profile
Adam Convery
no email
Profile
Frank Ford
no email
Profile
Noel Wards Leg
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Man Of The Match v Barnsley
Suggested By: Gary Caldwell
Lee Nicholls16%
Donervon Daniels2%
Craig Morgan1%
Jason Pearce1%
Stephen Warnock1%
David Perkins4%
Max Power1%
Chris McCann1%
Yanic Wildschut48%
Michael Jacobs1%
Will Grigg20%
Reece Wabara2%
Ryan Colclough2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Wigan 46 24 15 7 87 37
P Burton 46 25 10 11 85 20
3 Walsall 46 24 12 10 84 22
4 Millwall 46 24 9 13 81 24
5 Bradford 46 23 11 12 80 15
6 Barnsley 46 22 8 16 74 16
7 Scunthorpe 46 21 11 14 74 13
8 Coventry 46 19 12 15 69 18
9 Gillingham 46 19 12 15 69 15
10 Rochdale 46 19 12 15 69 7
11 Sheff Utd 46 18 12 16 66 5
12 Port Vale 46 18 11 17 65 -2
13 Peterborough 46 19 6 21 63 9
14 Bury 46 16 12 18 60 -17
15 Southend 46 16 11 19 59 -6
16 Swindon 46 16 11 19 59 -7
17 Oldham 46 12 18 16 54 -14
18 Chesterfield 46 15 8 23 53 -12
19 Fleetwood 46 12 15 19 51 -4
20 Shrewsbury 46 13 11 22 50 -21
R Doncaster 46 11 13 22 46 -16
R Blackpool 46 12 10 24 46 -23
R Colchester 46 9 13 24 40 -42
R Crewe 46 7 13 26 34 -37
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Wigan Athletic Results (view all)

Wigan Athletic Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Moonay294
2.Whittleblue290
3.BrickLatic225
4.Thorpyness162
5.Noel Wards Leg105
6.Ihaventaclue98
7.hindleymonwafc90
8.TRUE BELIEVER80
9.Barry W68
10.Jonny_SuffolkLatic68