Vital Football

Latest Wigan Atletic News

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 7

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 7


It`s been a interesting week at Wigan, let`s see what has been happening behind the scenes in Roberto`s Secret Diary. Over to you Roberto:

Monday: Young James is still recovering from being hit by Wayne Rooney on Saturday. He has a huge bruise on his head, Old James isn`t helping by flicking his ear every few minutes. He`ll be getting flashbacks for weeks. Anyway, Graeme took him into the Disney shop to get him something to reward him for being so brave. That didn`t end well, Young James ended up running out of the shop screaming and in floods of tears thanks to the huge display of Shrek toys. We won`t be going there again.

Tuesday: Antolin is continuing his attempts to persuade the lads he is royalty. His latest act was to proclaim the training pitch at Christopher Park as his kingdom. We suspect he may have done this for Jordi, who has become his follower to get a bit of protection from Gary and Steven. He seemed pretty happy when Antolin let him take free-kicks all afternoon anyway.

Wednesday: Franco is in trouble with the RSPCA. We had him doing some practice in front of goal to try and help him get his first goal for the club. Unfortunately his accuracy was a little off today, and several crows perched on top of some of the cars in the car park were knocked over. And a badger. And three passers-by. We could really do with someone to help our strikers with their shooting, I wonder what Ashley Cole is doing this week?

Thursday: The lads have been learning some Shakespeare to perform today as a team bonding exercise. Ronnie has nominated himself to play the lead role in Macbeth, and is taking the role very seriously. He was brilliant, very moody and emotional. As his character died I`m sure I saw a tear rolling down Jordi`s face. Afterwards, I told Ronnie that I was happy with the intensity, we could take the positives from this and grow as thespians.

Friday: We`re a little bit worried about Gary and Steven. After Kolo Toure tested positive for a banned substance in a diet supplement, we think they might be next. Their AA group thinks they`ve been clean and sober for a week now, but we know they`ve been drinking. How else can you explain the sixteen cans of Tennent`s we found in the footwell of Steven`s car? They must have been getting someone else to do the urine tests for them, my money`s on Daniel de Ridder. Whatever he calls his new religion prohibits alcohol, and it would also explain why the Tennent`s cans were held together by goat`s lungs.

Sheikh_Mahand


If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six



Join The Vital Debate



Bookmark and Share












Latics and Proud

Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site





Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Sheikh_Mahand
Date:Friday March 4 2011
Time: 11:13AM

Comments

0
Excellent stuff once again Sheikh
worbo
04/03/2011 11:17:00
0
Funny as I loved Monday and Thursday
wigginer
04/03/2011 13:03:00
0
Jordi Gomez needs to practice his free-kicks. I watched him before the united game and he took about 30 free-kicks at an open net and hit the post twice and put the rest wide or over the bar. Good effort.
nooney
04/03/2011 13:20:00
0
when i first saw these secret diaries i just passed them off as interviews or something. after finally getting round to read them today i must say i haven't laughed this much in a long time. just what is needed to unwind on a friday. good job Sheikh.
fingoose
04/03/2011 18:16:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

Meet The Ref - Latics v Oldham - Nigel Miller

The 'Battle of the Latics' on Saturday when Oldham visit the DW Stadium will be refereed by County Durham's very own Nigel Miller

Max Power PFA Fan's Player Of The Month - Maximus!

Max Power has been voted the PFA Fan's Sky Bet League 1 player of the month for January.

Muddy Water Blues - Time For A New Pitch At The DW

A new pitch is being laid ahead of Saturday's home clash with Oldham Athletic

What The Bosses Said - Sheffield United 0 Latics 2

Following the final whistle both bosses spoke to the media, let's take a look at what they had to say:

Archived Vital Latics Articles

Vital Latics articles from

Site Journalists

Barry Worthington
Profile
Dan Farrimond (JWAW)
Profile
Adam Convery
Profile
Frank Ford
Profile
Noel Wards Leg
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Man Of The Match v Sheffield United
Suggested By: Jimmy Crankie
Jussi Jääskeläinen8%
Donervon Daniels0%
Craig Morgan2%
Jason Pearce2%
Chris McCann2%
David Perkins5%
Sam Morsy20%
Max Power2%
Yanic Wildschut55%
Conor McAleny2%
Will Grigg2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Burton 29 19 3 7 60 16
2 Walsall 29 16 8 5 56 17
3 Wigan 30 15 10 5 55 21
4 Gillingham 30 16 7 7 55 19
5 Coventry 30 13 10 7 49 16
6 Millwall 29 14 5 10 47 9
7 Southend 29 13 8 8 47 6
8 Peterborough 29 13 5 11 44 13
9 Port Vale 31 12 8 11 44 -1
10 Barnsley 29 13 3 13 42 6
11 Sheff Utd 29 11 9 9 42 4
12 Bradford 28 11 8 9 41 -3
13 Scunthorpe 28 11 5 12 38 -4
14 Rochdale 28 10 7 11 37 -2
15 Bury 28 10 7 11 37 -7
16 Doncaster 29 9 9 11 36 -4
17 Swindon 30 10 6 14 36 -5
18 Blackpool 29 9 6 14 33 -7
19 Chesterfield 29 9 3 17 30 -11
20 Shrewsbury 30 8 6 16 30 -15
21 Fleetwood 28 7 8 13 29 -3
22 Crewe 29 6 8 15 26 -20
23 Oldham 27 4 12 11 24 -13
24 Colchester 29 5 7 17 22 -32
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Wigan Athletic Fixtures (view all)

Feb 13 2016 3:00PM : Oldham Athletic (H)
Sky Bet League One
Feb 20 2016 3:00PM : Walsall (a)
Sky Bet League One
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Bury (H)
Sky Bet League One
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Millwall (a)
Sky Bet League One
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Peterborough United (H)
Sky Bet League One
Mar 12 2016 3:00PM : Colchester United (a)
Sky Bet League One

Recent Wigan Athletic Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.BrickLatic101
2.Moonay71
3.Thorpyness70
4.Whittleblue58
5.Noel Wards Leg54
6.hindleymonwafc48
7.TRUE BELIEVER26
8.GrimReaper8724
9.craig21420
10.JJ_WAFC19