The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 9
It`s an important week for Roberto and the boys, let`s see what they`ve been getting up to behind the scenes in the latest instalment of the Secret Diary. Over to you Roberto:
Monday: Our training camp in Spain went well, apart from a few hiccups. That was Ben Watson`s fault, he had far too much fizzy pop on the plane back to England. Anyway, we did have a problem at customs thanks to Gary and Steven. They refused to declare the 1600 cigarettes and 14 gallons of whiskey in their cases, and got stopped by the border police. They blamed it on Jordi, which was rather mean as he doesn`t speak very good English. We had training to get to, so I had to leave him in the capable hands of Graeme. Lord knows what effect being kept in a cell for three hours will do to Jordi.
Tuesday: Mohamed isn`t happy we came back to Wigan from Spain. To cheer him up, we took him to La Tasca in the Trafford Centre for some tapas, to try and make him feel more at home. That was a mistake, he didn`t tell us how much he hated faux-Spanish culture - so the soundtrack CD Graham and I put together didn`t help. How can Ricky Martin and Los Lobos make you unhappy?
Wednesday: Daniel de Ridder is acting strangely, even for his standards. He`s decided that the problems over in Japan are fulfilling his new religion`s apocalyptic prophesy. He`s stocked up on bottled water, tinned food and batteries, and has taken refuge in a metal bin outside the canteen to see out his days. I wonder how disappointed he`ll be when he wakes up again tomorrow?
Thursday: Chris has had to miss training today because of his bad back. We let Young James bring some lego into the changing room this morning to keep him occupied, but he left it lying all over the place when we left to go outside. Chris took it upon himself to pick some of it up before somebody stood on it and hurt themselves. Unfortunately, his back decided this would be a good time to give up on him - it went into spasm so badly that he was stuck bent over for a while. It was probably a mistake to tell this to Young James and Old James, who immediately decided it would be a good idea to start playing leapfrog with him.
Friday: I was woken up by a small earthquake last night. Or so I thought, it turned out that Franco was doing jumping jacks outside my house, got one landing slightly wrong and fell over. There`s quite a lot of him, so the impact was quite severe - several of my roof tiles came down. I told him I was happy with the intensity, but if he could practice in the park instead of outside my house we could take the positives from this and grow as footballers.
If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:
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