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The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 13




After an important win last Saturday, let`s see what`s been going on behind the scenes at the Latics in the latest instalment of Roberto`s Secret Diary:

Monday: We decided to let the lads stay in Blackpool overnight yesterday after the superb performance on Saturday. Mike has been in a bad mood all weekend after his failure at the bingo, so some of the boys tried to cheer him up with a round of karaoke at one of the guesthouses on the promenade. Mike loves a bit of singing, but his tastes are a little old for the rest of the team. His rendition of 'When I`m Cleaning Windows` fell on rather confused ears - our resident gangsta rap expert, Ben Watson, had never heard of it. "Is it off N-Dubz`s new album?" was the best guess he could come up with.

Tuesday: Chris has become the latest footballer to get in a bit of trouble thanks to social networking websites. He was uploading an amusing photo of his daughter for the rest of his family to see when his right hand slipped from the keyboard. His hand hit the chair he was sitting on, spraining three of his fingers. That`ll be his season over with; we must try to find a padded cell in time for next season to keep him from injury.

Wednesday: Young James is still a little shaken after his brush with the law at the weekend. In the first half, he got a booking for a challenge on Charlie Adam. Young James hasn`t really been told off much before, so this hit him very hard. I can`t imagine that Old James coming into training in fancy dress is helping: on Monday he was a referee and kept yellow-carding Young James after everything he did; yesterday he went a bit too far and came in a banana suit. Anyway, we`re going to get Lee Cattermole to talk to him at the weekend to show him that yellow cards aren`t that bad after all. That can only end well, surely?

Thursday: Ronnie is very excited about his new interest. He`s started writing romantic poetry, now that he`s got a bit bored with sculpting. His first poem is all about his new life here in Wigan, and how much he enjoys it. Apparently he got the inspiration from Mohamed Diame, he just wrote the opposite of what Momo has been saying all year. Anyway, he read the poem to the lads after training. It went down fairly well but some of the Scottish lads didn`t appreciate the emotion in some of the lines. I`ve told him that I was happy with the intensity, but we can take the positives and grow as poets.

Friday: Dave Watson is getting Steve Bruce a present before tomorrow`s game, as a thank you for being a good boss while he worked for him at Wigan. It`s very practical too, as going off recent form Steve will use it quite a lot. We did think about wrapping it up, but then again how pretty can you make a Tesco Clubcard? I figured I should get him something too, so I got my wife to go shopping in London for something. In the end we settled for a lovely bag from Harrods - after all, given the form Sunderland are showing recently this could be the last time he`s allowed to shop there.

Sheikh_Mahand


If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

The Complete Secret Diary Entries




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The Journalist

Writer: Sheikh_Mahand Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday April 22 2011

Time: 9:58AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

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Excellent stuff again Sheikh, I think we should all send Bruce a Lidl bag, thats where half his team should be working by the looks of things
worbo
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22/04/2011 10:04:00

 

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