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The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez Pt 14




It`s getting towards crunch time this season, let`s see what has been going on behind closed doors at Wigan with the latest instalment of Roberto`s Secret Diary:

Monday: We stayed in Sunderland after the game on Saturday for some special cold-weather training in the north east. I`d asked the local weather man where would be the coldest area for today, and on his recommendation we went to Seaham beach for some exercises. It was absolutely freezing, well below zero and the wind was incredibly strong. When we returned to Sunderland, he asked how we liked the area for training. I told him that I was happy with the intensity of the cold, but if we could find somewhere a little warmer next time we could learn from our mistakes and grow as meteorologists.

Tuesday: We are lucky that we could come straight back down after the long weekend in the north east. Gary and Steven both played for clubs up there and were very excited about revisiting a few old haunts. I`m not sure but I can`t see how a trip to the Newcastle Brown Ale factory could be classed as 'team bonding` when they were the only two who went. Not convinced by their new sobriety either, their overnight bags were clinking suspiciously when they got back on the coach.

Wednesday: We made the lads stay behind after training to watch the Champions League game between Real Madrid and Barcelona tonight. We thought it would be a good opportunity for an exhibition of the football we are aspiring for at Wigan. Unfortunately, the match quickly descended into farce - Ali is now practicing sprinting 50 yards to call for yellow cards, Emmerson is working on his triple somersault with pike and Chris Kirkland is trying to start fights before running off into the changing room. Not the best idea I`ve ever had.

Thursday: Mike Pollitt is going into hospital today for surgery on his elbow. There`s been a few conflicting reports about how he sustained the injury, so let me put things straight. He was trying to make Franco feel a bit more at home in Wigan by taking him to the bingo. After he`d explained the rules, they`d bought a few cards and settled down to play. About ten minutes in, Franco got a full house and started dancing about in celebration. Mike had fallen asleep by this time, and had leaned back on his chair. Franco got a little bit over excited and tripped over Mike`s foot, falling straight onto his arm. Franco is a big guy, and long story short that`s probably Mike`s season finished with. I`m not sure Franco should be allowed around other people.

Friday: Callum McManaman is celebrating today, after he signed a new contract with the club. Young James and Old James asked me if they could organise an initiation ceremony for him. I still have nightmares about the aftermath of Jordi`s one that Gary organised after he joined the club in January last year, that took a lot of getting over. We told them they could throw a small party, so long as nobody else got involved in the organisation. About half an hour after it had started, I decided to pop my head in to make sure nothing was getting out of hand. All three of them were slumped on the floor, drooling everywhere. There must have been a hundred empty bottles strewn across the floor, along with loads of tinfoil. Fruit Shoot and Party Ring sugar highs are hard to get over, I think there might be a couple of bad heads tomorrow morning.

Sheikh_Mahand


If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

The Complete Secret Diary Entries


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The Journalist

Writer: Sheikh_Mahand Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Saturday April 30 2011

Time: 10:09AM

Your Comments

Nice one Sheikh, keep 'em coming
worbo
Wednesday is this weeks winner !
thorpyness
 

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