Vital Football

Latest Wigan Atletic News

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez - Pt 15

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez - Pt 15




The games are rapidly running out for Wigan to stay in the Premier League, let`s see how Roberto and the lads have been preparing for the run-in in the latest Secret Diary:

Monday: Gary and Steven are taunting Hugo after his mistake on Saturday. One of them will go up to him and offer a high five, while the other one sprints up behind Hugo and shout 'HANDBALL!` They even made him go in goal for the whole of our five-a-side games at the end of training. The worst thing was, he didn`t let a single goal in and pulled off some wonderful saves. Naturally, Gary and Steven are taking the credit for converting Hugo into his new position. Perhaps we don`t need to buy Ali after all?

Tuesday: I bought a new television today, after one of Young James`s tantrums broke my other one. The new one is really smart, a big plasma screen above my fireplace. I switched it on to my favourite arts channel, which was showing coverage of the carnival in Rio de Janiero. The picture looked very dull, with all the colours washed out. For the first time I can remember, I was not happy with the intensity. I told the delivery man to take it back and get an LCD screen, I will learn from this and grow as a consumer.

Wednesday: Antolin came into my office this afternoon asking for a pay rise die to his stellar form this season. He`s already on quite a large weekly wage, so I refused his request. I told him once Anderson scores twice in a game for Manchester United I will consider his request. I think our money is safe for a few years yet.

Thursday: Daniel de Ridder was getting very excited today. Apparently, May 4th is the date that his saviour, or whatever it is called in his latest cult, returns to Earth from the heavens. To prepare, he has been giving away all of his personal possessions, and refused to train today. In preparation to meet the saviour, he stripped naked and sat in the centre circle all day, looking at the sky. By lunchtime he had fallen asleep from exhaustion, and because he was getting red from all the sun, I told Old James to put some sunscreen on him to stop Daniel burning. We forgot about him until after training, and when we went back to him he was just waking up. It was only then we realised what a bad idea it was to ask Old James to do his sunscreen - Daniel had woken up with some awful words written on his back using the cream. We`ll have to ring Old James`s mum after this debacle, no way should a boy of his age be using language like that.

Friday: We travelled down to Birmingham a day early for the game on Saturday, to get acclimatised to the city. We have to keep a close eye on Charles, as Birmingham City nearly signed him in the summer - we don`t want to almost lose him again. After a tour of all the best sights of Birmingham - it took nearly 15 minutes - we returned to the hotel. I told Emmerson to guard Charles`s room door, just in case he tried to do a runner, Emmerson is the most dependable member of the squad, we figured it was a safe choice. Just before he went into the room for the night, Charles asked to take a few extra duvets, as it was a little chilly in his room. I gave him some extras from my room, and he scuttled off to bed. Everything was going fine until three in the morning, when I was woken up by Emmerson shouting from the corridor - Charles had gone missing. He had lied to us - his room was roasting, and all his extra blankets were tied in a long rope going out of the window. We`d better find him by tomorrow, that`s the last time we let him have a room of his own.

Sheikh_Mahand

If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

The Complete Secret Diary Entries




Join The Vital Debate



Bookmark and Share












Latics and Proud

Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site





Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Sheikh_Mahand
Date:Friday May 6 2011
Time: 8:42AM

Comments

0
I wonder what bad words a young Scottish lad would know? Hmmmm
worbo
06/05/2011 08:58:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

Premier League Cup Draw - U23s

The draw for the 32 team Premier League Cup took place earlier this afternoon and there are a few significant Midland derby clashes this year.

Transfer Windows To End Early?

The Premier League and the EFL will both be seeking thoughts from member clubs on whether or not to close the summer transfer window before the season kicks off in coming years.

Pure Sloth Nick Powell

Nick Powell the magic man

Who Serves A Suspension This Week - 15/8/17

Here's a list of all the players currently serving, or under a suspension at the beginning of the week that will potentially keep them out of contention...

Archived Vital Latics Articles

Vital Latics articles from

Site Journalists

Liam Sephton
Editor email
Profile
Dan Farrimond
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Oldham v Wigan
Suggested By: Darren Sheridan
Oldham win14%
Draw6%
Wigan win80%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Vital Football Comment

Recent Wigan Athletic Results (view all)

Wigan Athletic Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Whittleblue230
2.Kenny Morris169
3.truelatic4eva166
4.Get a Grip!112
5.henski112
6.Moonay108
7.Oscarbon79
8.Martinez198679
9.MoMoWafc58
10.C_Latic55
Write for Vital Football