UK time is: 17:49:52
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

The Secret Diary of Roberto Martinez - Pt 16




The day is almost upon us, a season-defining game that we really have to win. How are the nerves behind the scenes? Let's find out in the latest instalment of Roberto's Secret Diary:

Monday: Ronnie's art obsession keeps growing. Today he decided to paint some still life after training, and wanted volunteers to model. Chris Kirkland offered, as he hadn't done much training anyway. Ronnie had him pose just right, bent over sideways over a bowl of fruit. Seven hours later, the painting was finished - but Chris couldn't leave. His back had seized up yet again, we have to hope it doesn't last as long as last time. He looks like he's been frozen while doing a particularly energetic rendition of the YMCA.

Tuesday: Gary and Steven are doing very well in their battle against the bottle. Today they managed a full eight minutes without a drink, which I believe is a record. Unfortunately, they have discovered that there are foods with alcohol in them. Coming from Scotland, they only eat haggis, neeps and tatties - whatever those three things are. By this afternoon the canteen's menu at Christopher Park had been completely changed. Out went the pasta and chicken; in came beef bourguignon and sherry trifle. Not sure our nutritionist will be very happy about that.

Wednesday: Poor Jordi. He tried to get a bit of culture into the squad by taking some of them to see a Picasso exhibition in London today. Ronnie was very interested, but the rest of the lads were less impressed. Mohamed decided to take things into his own hands, and challenged Jordi to a game of hide-and-seek. While Jordi ran off to hide, the other lads pretended to count to 100. As soon as Jordi was out of sight, of course, they all ran off to the train station and came home. For all we know, Jordi is still somewhere in a dark corner in the National Gallery.

Thursday: Today we received the news that Scott Parker may be fit for Sunday's game. Hendry immediately started training his body and mind for their clash. He really is quite violent when he wants to be. He's made hundreds of straw-stuffed mannequins of Parker's exact specifications, and is working around the clock to be able to surgically remove their ankles at twenty paces. We have told him that he'll have to manage it without the knife in his mouth and the bandana by Sunday though, or he won`t be allowed on the pitch.

Friday: As we don't have a game tomorrow, we are organising a Eurovision party for the evening, to try and alleviate some of the tension. We are all going as our favourite Eurovision acts from down the years. Myself, Graham, Graeme and Inaki have got some blonde wigs to dress as Abba, Ronnie, Ben, Connor and Maynor are coming as Blue and Young James and Old James have unfortunately decided to go as Jedward. I have a feeling that might not go down too well, my money's on Hendry to snap first. Let's hope he doesn`t break out the anti-Parker moves.

Sheikh¬_Mahand

If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:

The Complete Secret Diary Entries





Join The Vital Debate



Bookmark and Share












Latics and Proud

Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site






Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Sheikh_Mahand Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday May 13 2011

Time: 7:46AM

Your Comments

Excellent stuff again Sheikh
worbo
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

12th Man - Is It Time For A Change? (Friday October 24 2014)

Any Previous? - Derby v Latics (Thursday October 23 2014)

PWU Latics Podcast - All M*A*S*H*ed Up (Thursday October 23 2014)

The Bag Had It - Latics 0 Millwall 0 (Wednesday October 22 2014)

What The Bosses Said - Latics 0 Millwall 0 (Wednesday October 22 2014)

Stats: Wigan Athletic v Millwall (Tuesday October 21 2014)

Archived Wigan Athletic Articles

List All Vital Latics Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. worbo 175
2. loudmouthblue 115
3. russialatic 96
4. Thorpyness 94
5. hindleymonwafc 92
6. Pauvre Jean 82
7. riddy 62
8. Lazysid 61
9. Whittleblue 58
10. SwindonLatic 57

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Wigan 1 - 0 Blackpool
Wigan 2 - 2 Reading
Wigan 0 - 0 Millwall
Wigan 1 - 2 Ipswich
Wigan 4 - 0 Birmingham
Charlton 2 - 1 Wigan

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
16. Huddersfield 13 4 4 5 -6 16
17. Reading 13 4 3 6 -8 15
18. Millwall 13 3 5 5 -3 14
19. Wigan 13 2 6 5 -2 12
20. Brighton 13 2 6 5 -3 12
21. Birmingham 13 2 5 6 -8 11
22. Fulham 13 3 2 8 -9 11

Breaking League News

Big clash at the Riverside
» Middlesbrough : 24/10/2014 17:47:00
Karanka confident of team
» Middlesbrough : 24/10/2014 17:39:00
Brighton v Rotherham (Preview)
» Brighton : 24/10/2014 16:57:00
Ball Supports Symons
» Fulham : 24/10/2014 16:40:00
Fulham v Charlton - It`s On The TV!
» Fulham : 24/10/2014 16:32:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Man of the Match v Millwall
Suggested By:  Roy Cropper
Scott Carson 6%
James Tavernier 42%
Ivan Ramis 2%
Leon Barnett 0%
Maynor Figueroa 11%
William Kvist 2%
Adam Forshaw 8%
Shaun Maloney 5%
James McClean 2%
Marc-Antoine Fortune 20%
Oriol Riera 2%