Date:Friday May 13 2011
The day is almost upon us, a season-defining game that we really have to win. How are the nerves behind the scenes? Let's find out in the latest instalment of Roberto's Secret Diary:
Monday: Ronnie's art obsession keeps growing. Today he decided to paint some still life after training, and wanted volunteers to model. Chris Kirkland offered, as he hadn't done much training anyway. Ronnie had him pose just right, bent over sideways over a bowl of fruit. Seven hours later, the painting was finished - but Chris couldn't leave. His back had seized up yet again, we have to hope it doesn't last as long as last time. He looks like he's been frozen while doing a particularly energetic rendition of the YMCA.
Tuesday: Gary and Steven are doing very well in their battle against the bottle. Today they managed a full eight minutes without a drink, which I believe is a record. Unfortunately, they have discovered that there are foods with alcohol in them. Coming from Scotland, they only eat haggis, neeps and tatties - whatever those three things are. By this afternoon the canteen's menu at Christopher Park had been completely changed. Out went the pasta and chicken; in came beef bourguignon and sherry trifle. Not sure our nutritionist will be very happy about that.
Wednesday: Poor Jordi. He tried to get a bit of culture into the squad by taking some of them to see a Picasso exhibition in London today. Ronnie was very interested, but the rest of the lads were less impressed. Mohamed decided to take things into his own hands, and challenged Jordi to a game of hide-and-seek. While Jordi ran off to hide, the other lads pretended to count to 100. As soon as Jordi was out of sight, of course, they all ran off to the train station and came home. For all we know, Jordi is still somewhere in a dark corner in the National Gallery.
Thursday: Today we received the news that Scott Parker may be fit for Sunday's game. Hendry immediately started training his body and mind for their clash. He really is quite violent when he wants to be. He's made hundreds of straw-stuffed mannequins of Parker's exact specifications, and is working around the clock to be able to surgically remove their ankles at twenty paces. We have told him that he'll have to manage it without the knife in his mouth and the bandana by Sunday though, or he won`t be allowed on the pitch.
Friday: As we don't have a game tomorrow, we are organising a Eurovision party for the evening, to try and alleviate some of the tension. We are all going as our favourite Eurovision acts from down the years. Myself, Graham, Graeme and Inaki have got some blonde wigs to dress as Abba, Ronnie, Ben, Connor and Maynor are coming as Blue and Young James and Old James have unfortunately decided to go as Jedward. I have a feeling that might not go down too well, my money's on Hendry to snap first. Let's hope he doesn`t break out the anti-Parker moves.
If you missed any previous entries fear not, they are right here:
The Complete Secret Diary Entries
Latics and Proud
Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan
To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site
Date:Friday May 13 2011
12th Man - Let's Put The Frighteners On Fulham (Friday October 31 2014)
Any Previous? Latics v Fulham (Thursday October 30 2014)
PWU Latics Podcast - A Ghost In My House (Thursday October 30 2014)
James McClean Named In Rep of Ireland Squad (Wednesday October 29 2014)
Fixture Change - Boro Away Day Brought Forward (Wednesday October 29 2014)
Roger Espinoza Vital Man Of The Match v Derby (Wednesday October 29 2014)
Vital Office Party Tickets - Supporting Alder Hey (Tuesday October 28 2014)
Latics To Go All Star Trek With Brighton Beam Back (Tuesday October 28 2014)
Meet The Ref - Latics v Fulham - James Adcock (Tuesday October 28 2014)
'Family Day' - Latics v Fulham - Special Offers (Monday October 27 2014)
|18. Leeds Utd||14||4||4||6||-4||16|
|Karanka expects tough clash
» Middlesbrough : 31/10/2014 12:41:00
|Michael Morrison Joins Birmingham City
» Charlton : 31/10/2014 12:28:00
|Harry Lennon Returns From Loan
» Charlton : 31/10/2014 12:21:00
|The Bolton Preview
» Norwich : 31/10/2014 10:24:00
|Villa to get rebuffed over Sako move
» Wolves : 31/10/2014 10:14:00