Vital Football

Latest Wigan Atletic News

The Secret Diary Of Roberto Martinez - 30/09/11

The Secret Diary Of Roberto Martinez - 30/09/11



The Sheikh is back following a short sabbatical around some of Europe's more exotic cities to soak up the culture, well the alcohol really, good to have you back Sheikh, what's happening with Roberto?

Well since I last had a flick through Roberto's diary the team have lost every single game they`ve played - let's hope that they can fix that record this week at Villa, here's how they've been preparing.

Monday: Jordi has been getting a lot of stick from everyone for his poor performance against Spurs. I think I should take some of the blame - it all stemmed from the pre-match meeting. I was showing the lads some videos of the Tottenham players to gee them up for the game. One of the clips was of Scott Parker snapping away at Lee Cattermole a few years ago, when he played for West Ham. I didn't want Jordi to see this clip, so I made him leave the room while it was on. Unfortunately Gary decided to make some horrible noises like the video was making him sick. Jordi heard this, and was very scared for the game. That's probably why he didn't play too well on Saturday - he was frightened of getting too close to the Tottenham players. I'll have to work out how to keep those two apart from now on.

Tuesday: We have some new faces at training this week. One of them is El-Hadji Diouf, the former Liverpool striker. He is a friend of Ali's from Bolton, and is keeping himself fit while he looks for a new club. We know he has a reputation for spitting, so Ronnie volunteered to take him somewhere where he can legitimately exercise his passion, away from Arjan de Zeeuw's face. Ronnie plumped for wine-tasting at a vineyard, but he underestimated how much El-Hadji enjoys spitting. Gallons of wine was wasted, most of it spilling into Ronnie's hair. By the time he came back his hair was all purple, it looked like he'd had a blue rinse.

Wednesday: Our other new face is actually an old face - Richard Kingson, the Ghana goalkeeper. I don't think we need to sign another goalkeeper, but just in case something happens to Chris' back it is good to have a spare hanging around. Richard is an odd fellow though - he keeps leaving skateboards and roller skates around Chris' locker, nobody knows why. He nearly fell over one the other day, though he was absolutely fine. In unrelated news, Richard was in a mood all week after that.

Thursday: One of our new signings, Shaun Maloney, has been struggling to keep up with our other Scottish players in their pub 'bonding sessions'. After the last one, Shaun ended up vomiting all over Old James before throwing a traffic cone at Gary Caldwell. Nobody was hurt, but Shaun had a bad headache this morning. I told him not to worry, as he is in a bad moment but I couldn`t be prouder of the performance. If he could just learn to pace himself then he could take the positives from it and we can grow as alcoholics.

Friday: This weekend we play Aston Villa down in Birmingham. It will also be the first time that we will play against Charles N'Zogbia since he left in the summer. We usually drive down to games like this on Saturday morning, but we decided to go a day early to acclimatise. Once we parked our coach outside our hotel, we thought we'd locked it up for the night. However, after we came back later, the hotel manager was waiting for us. Apparently there had been someone spotted messing around near our coach, so we had a bit of a search to see if there was any damage. At first we didn't think there was anything wrong - until we looked in the luggage compartment below the coach. There we found a small figure crouched behind Mike Pollitt`s Just For Men. Turns out it was Charles, we have no idea what he was doing in there. Maybe he really hasn't settled in at Villa, and wants to come back? Let's hope nobody notices if we stick him in a blue shirt tomorrow.

Sheikh_Mahand



Bookmark and Share



Join The Vital Debate









Latics and Proud



Fancy writing an article about the Latics? Why not get in touch, we are always looking for new contributors, after all we are all Latics fans here and want to get the Latics message to the world, so if you have a favourite match or Latics memory get it jotted down, or whatever you want to say put it into an email and send it to us here at Vital Wigan

To get your article published just click here and we will put it onto the site



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Sheikh_Mahand
Date:Friday September 30 2011
Time: 7:00AM

Comments

0
Fantastic stuff Sheikh, good to have you back
worbo
29/09/2011 21:49:00
0
Fantastic stuff Sheikh, good to have you back
worbo
29/09/2011 21:49:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Wigan Athletic Articles

Video Highlights - Wigan Athletic 0 Derby County 1

All the highlights from Latics home defeat to Derby County:

Dan's Big Game Report - Latics 0 Derby 1

Phew, I'm finally back at the 'office'! Please excuse the cartoon-esque marks on my clothes and scruffiness of my hair.

Also apologies for the lateness of this 'report' - I have onl

Audio - Warren Joyce On Another Home Defeat Without A Goal

Latics manager Warren Joyce speaking to the media following the 0-1 home defeat to Derby County

Stats: Wigan Athletic v Derby County

All the stats from Wigan Athletic (0) vs (1) Derby County, DW Stadium, 03/12/16 3pm Att: 12,526

Archived Vital Latics Articles

Vital Latics articles from

Site Journalists

Barry Worthington
Editor email
Profile
Dan Farrimond (JWAW)
no email
Profile
Adam Convery
no email
Profile
Frank Ford
no email
Profile
Noel Wards Leg
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Man Of The Match v Derby
Suggested By: Craig Davies
Jussi Jaaskelainen6%
Luke Garbutt0%
Jake Buxton19%
Craig Morgan4%
Stephen Warnock2%
Shaun MacDonald2%
David Perkins45%
Max Power10%
Jordi Gomez2%
Michael Jacobs8%
Yanic Wildschut2%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 19 13 1 5 40 21
2 Brighton 19 11 6 2 39 17
3 Reading 19 10 4 5 34 1
4 Leeds Utd 19 10 2 7 32 3
5 Birmingham 19 8 7 4 31 2
6 Sheff Wed 19 9 4 6 31 1
7 Norwich 19 9 3 7 30 4
8 Huddersfield 19 9 3 7 30 -3
9 Derby County 19 8 5 6 29 4
10 Fulham 19 7 7 5 28 9
11 Bristol City 19 8 3 8 27 4
12 Barnsley 19 7 4 8 25 3
13 Forest 19 7 4 8 25 1
14 Preston 19 7 4 8 25 1
15 Aston Villa 19 5 10 4 25 1
16 Ipswich 19 6 6 7 24 -2
17 Q.P.R. 19 6 5 8 23 -8
18 Brentford 19 6 4 9 22 -2
19 Burton 19 5 7 7 22 -4
20 Wolves 19 5 6 8 21 -3
21 Blackburn 19 5 5 9 20 -7
22 Cardiff 19 5 4 10 19 -12
23 Wigan 19 4 6 9 18 -5
24 Rotherham 19 1 4 14 7 -26
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Wigan Athletic Results (view all)

Wigan Athletic Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Aston Villa (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 14 2016 7:45PM : Newcastle United (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 17 2016 3:00PM : Ipswich Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Dec 31 2016 3:00PM : Derby County (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Huddersfield Town (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Get a Grip!61
2.Thorpyness47
3.Moonay40
4.Whittleblue38
5.BrickLatic35
6.Ihaventaclue26
7.hindleymonwafc25
8.scotdave22
9.Barry W20
10.nottinghamlatic17
Vital Football Comment