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Wigan Athletic Half-term Report

Wigan Athletic Half-term Report

Its been an interesting term here at the JJB towers, a new headmaster has arrived after last years deputy head left abruptly.

There has also been a large change in the class list from last term.

All the class has been observed throughout the term and a report compiled for each member

Theres been some star performaers and there has been some under achievers lets see who; here is the report:

1/ Chris Kirkland had a lot of time off last term and matron was quite worried about how he would cope this term.

His sickness record has improved dramatically but seems very indecisive when the other boys crowd around him.

Report…could do better grade C

2/ Ryan Taylor is one of the younger boys and another who had lots of time off last term.

It is believed that the last head Mr Hutchings didn`t think he was up to the required level required by his class but the new head has moved him up a class and he seems to be thriving on the challenge.

Report… has made rapid strides this term grade B

4/ Andreas Granqvist is one of several overseas students who was believed to be going home at the end of last term and it was a surprise when he turned up this term.

A willing student but not a high achiever

Report tries hard grade C

5/ Fitz Hall arrived two years ago but never really settled here and is believed to be returning to London when this term finishes

Report disappointing performance grade D

6/ Antoine Sibierski is another new boarder from overseas, always seems to be ill and often has to go to matron`s medical room during class.

Was well thought of at his last school.

Report needs to improve on his attendance grade C

8/ Kevin Kilbane is known as killer to the other boys.

The oldest boy in the class and has been moved around by the headmaster in the hope of improving his performance.

This seems to have worked as his performance has improved tremendously.

Report working to the limits of his ability grade B

9/ Emile Heskey last years star pupil has been absent a great deal this season but has been recognised on a national scale for his ability.

Missed by the other pupils when he isn`t around.

Report unlucky with illness needs to improve his attendance grade B-

10/ Jason Koumas is one of the most talented in the class but is rumoured not to be giving all that he can.

Maybe moving to another school at the end of term as the head is said to be not impressed with him

Report most skilled individual in the class but needs to show his ability more often grade C.

11/ Michael Brown another new boy, believed to be the "cock of the class".

Working very hard to the limits of his ability.

New head said to be impressed with him.

Report keep up the good work grade B

12/ Mike Pollitt is always in attendance but very rarely gets the chance to shine.

Due to leave school next year and will be missed by both boys and teachers alike.

Report a model pupil grade C

13/ Carlo Nash has been off sick all year. Truant officer may have to be called in

Report never been seen so no grade awarded

14/ Denny Landzaat is a quiet but very talented overseas student.

Was made temporary head boy when Mario was off sick but the role didn`t seem to sit well with him. Had a slow start last term but is finally beginning to show the ability the staff knew he had.

Report a very diligent pupil grade B

15/ Julius Aghahowa came from overseas last term but hasn`t settled and has shown none of the ability we expected.

Head is believed to have recommended that he find a school more suited to his abilities

Report very disappointing grade D

16/ Antonia Valencia is an exchange student from Spain who is in his second year at the school.

A brilliantly talented individual whom the school is trying to persuade to make his exchange permanent as his ability reflects well upon the school

Report a brilliant individual grade B+

17/ Emmerson Boyce was one of last year`s star prefects who has been strangely absent his term.

Rumoured to be moving to another school but if so will be sadly missed.

Report not seen enough of him this term grade C-

18/ Paul Scharner is one of the more colourful and outspoken pupils who sometimes talks himself into trouble.

The new head has moved his desk in class to near the back and this seems to have improved his performances in class.

Report must keep up his improvements grade B-

19/ Titus Bramble has been the surprise in the class this year.

Came with a reputation of making elementary errors in examinations but has been excellent this term.

Report star pupil grade A-

20/ Salomon Olembe is another new starter but hasn`t settled in .

Report must do better grade D

22/ David Cotterill is one of the younger pupils.

Is very confident in his own ability but exam results don`t as yet support his estimation of his ability.

Report needs to knuckle down and work hard grade C-

23/ Marcus Bent is another exchange student who came with a less than perfect reputation but has proved all the doubters wrong with his performance in class.

Always gives 100%

Report star student grade A-

24/ Josip Skoko has never really settled and has spent a couple of terms away from the school.

Believed to be moving to a new school at the end of term

Report underachieved grade C-

25/ Mario Melchiot is the head boy who has performed superbly this term.

Was suspended once this term but was missed by the other pupils.

Report first class B+

26/ Rachid Bouaouzan is another overseas new boy who hasn`t settled yet.

Came with a bad reputation but is working hard to prove himself

Report must try harder grade D

Steve Bruce is the new headmaster who has brought a new standard of discipline to the school.

Pupils have responded positively and he appears to have the ability to bring the best out in them

Report compiled by secretary baskerville

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Date:Sunday December 30 2007
Time: 5:25PM

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Good read baskers, lets hope the pupils respond to the areas that you have highlighted
30/12/2007 17:36:00
I enjoyed reading that, smashing little article!
31/12/2007 19:10:00
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